You Think Too Much

Cogito, ergo sum.–Descartes

Years ago, when I was still young and idealistic, I remember vividly a conversation I had with my beloved grandmother. We were standing in her kitchen tending something over her stove, and I was engaged in some type of  discussion about the meaning of life, or perhaps I was airing my distrust of the establishment, or the hypocrisy of society, or some equally youthful discourse .

She told me simply, “You think too much.”

Under any other situation, and coming from any other person, I might be highly offended by this observation, but coming from my grandmother it seemed neither accusatory, or in any way anti-intellectual. It simply was. I think back to that statement often, because it really is true!

I do enjoy the flexing of my mental muscle. Nothing excites me more than reading a poem and getting goosebumps because the author was able to manipulate words in such a way as to express the wordless. I love exploring religion and philosophy; I acutally enjoy the elegance of mathmatics and the raw truths held in the scientific fields. Subjects like evolution and quantum mechanics make me giddy with joy as the human mind stretches it’s search for the source and reason for our existence.

And yet, often times, these thoughts often take me to dark places. I search deep into the meaning of our existence, hoping to find answers to the question that have plaqued human kind for millenia. And to what end? Does it make me happier?  Does it improve my life? Lately it seems it hasn’t.

I yearn for a simple existence, to find meaning in the plain doings of daily life. I want to rise in the morning, shuttle my kids off to school, go to work and be satisfied, come home and take my kids to soccer practice, fix something comfortable for dinner, wash my littles in the bathtub, tuck their little pajama feet into bed, make love with my husband, and drift off to sleep. I want to enjoy these things and nothing else.

I don’t want to think too much. I just want to be.

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14 Comments

Filed under apostasy, Islam, just me, religion, spirituality, Uncategorized

14 responses to “You Think Too Much

  1. Oh I know so well what you are talking about!

  2. I can understand very well! I’m often told I think too much, too…. but I don’t have a problem with being told that. The only time I’m told that, I’ve observed, is when I ask a question that the listener/reader doesn’t have an answer to and/or was taught that it’s blasphemous to raise such a question. And only then does it become “too much”! Otherwise, how do you know when someone’s thinking too much? And what is thinking too less? Everyone claims to want to think just enough– but what is that?

    So, to me, it’s always a compliment to be told that I think too much. And I love hearing it! Of course, it never comes from intellectuals, which is how I know it’s not “too much” or even a bad thing.

    • Year2Band

      I agree Serenity! My questions that receive the ‘you think too much’ answer are usually questions that are soooooo important to me and I am dying to find the answer to.

      Stephanie: I know exactly what you mean. To be able to just enjoy life. Just live it. That would be nice. Sometimes I wish I weren’t an over-thinker. How much easier would it be?

  3. Midnightmama

    I find that my simplest moments of being are when I connect with the natural world, typically through the lens of my camera.

    At this point in my life with 2 “littles” it’s very hard to do, so I watch them sleep.

    And it fills my heart and quells my mind.

  4. Issam

    I totally agree with Serenity on this one. You should not put limits on your thinking. The human civilization is so advanced because people have been constantly thinking.

    As for the meaning of life, I do not believe we can find the meaning of life by studying evolution or quantum mechanics. The meaning of life belongs to the realm of Philosophy, not the Natural Sciences.

    Regards,

  5. Thinking too much? There is no such thing! People who say, “You think too much,” are merely admitting that you raise thorny issues that cannot resolve with satisfactory explanations, given the current state of human development.

    As for enjoying the “simple things in life”, even we who think too much can embrace our earthly nature and even find refuge in it from the torments of the mind. If kissing the kids or the husband doesn’t work, try a big bowl of ice cream.

  6. I think there are times when you can think too much, at least if by think you also mean worry. I tend to do that a lot, and overthink things.

    However I do think it’s a great strength and advantage to be able to think deeply and seriously over things, and explore things instead of just taking them at face value.

    When that is said, I do often wish my brain had an “off-button” so I could just simply BE.

  7. Michael

    This that you said: “I don’t want to think too much. I just want to be.” I’ve always been a thinker, but I have been thinking too much lately, insofar as that means also going to dark places. Sometimes thinking can interfere with just being. I find lately that my most enjoyable and fulfilling moments are when I just am, and am being in the moment. Touching and breathing in my wife, hugging my children, laughing, listening to music, looking at the color of the clouds during sunrise, or even hearing a train whistle off in the distance.

  8. Hi Michael and welcome. Any man who can put up with Lisa for so many years is alright in my book. Don’t tell her I said that 🙂 JK, really.

  9. DD

    quantum mechanics woooooo! hehe. what is your stance on string theory? it’s interesting but i can’t say i completely agree with it. i mean, as they say, it’s more philosophy than science but we’ll see. i just found out about your apostasy 😦 was it due to having bad experiences with salafi-type muslims or you just left after seriously thinking about it? not that i’m saying this is the case for you but a lot of muslims i’ve noticed leave islam as an act of defiance against other muslims, like a finger to the conservatives. i can’t imagine it. i hate muslims sometimes but it’s not Allah’s or Islam’s fault that they’re stupid you know what i mean lolz. wouldn’t your husband have to divorce you now? :s whatever the case i hope everything goes on as normal and you and your family are going good now and well on into the future!

    • I’m sure you don’t have time to go back and read all the comments and posts so I’ll sum it up for you. It started with some serious and HONEST questions about the Quran and not believing that it could be the word of God. So if it wasn’t the word of God, then it must have been man made, although it could have been divinely inspired (as Jews and Christians view their texts). However, this idea of having a writer of the Quran doesn’t jive with Islam’s view of the revelation as given to Muhammad. Which got me questioning the prophethood. So put those two things together, and I’m obviously outside of Islam.

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