From the Old Blog: Funny (or depressing) Islam Q & A Fatwas

Ok, so now I’m in a bitter stage, admittedly. I’m lashing out.

If you are easily offended or hypersensitive, steer clear of this post. Better yet, why don’t you read these fatwas and take and honest look at these “scholars” in which you may be espousing.

These are actually real question and fatwas posted at the site I love to hate. Islam Q & A is one of the most well known and frequented sites on the internet among Muslims. I continuously see people posting fatwas from this site as “proof” of their points. And in fairness, the authors of the site do use hadith and Quran to justify their points. Is this what we’ve come to?

And people wonder how I could reject such an ideology.

1. Ruling on buying clothing and other items during kaafir festivals in order to benefit from discounts on prices during the Christmas season. Someone actually felt the need to ask this question? It was obviously not of the female sex, because no self respecting woman would pass up a good sale, kaffir, mu’min, or otherwise.

2. A man says that some of the shar’i rulings need to be re-examined and they need to be changed, because they are not appropriate to the current age, such as the male’s share of inheritance being equal to the share of two females. What is the shar’i ruling on those who say such things?
 Part of the answer from our lovely and “illustrious”  (may Allah bless his soul) shayk Ibn Baz regarding a Muslim who dares to question the consensus:   “The authorities should ask him to repent if he is a Muslim; if he repents, all well and good, otherwise he is to be executed as a kaafir and an apostate from Islam…” Hmm, I think I should of been executed. That’d be better for me than using my brain. Of course, if I lived in a society where these ideas were prominent, then I think I would prefer to be dead.
 
3. Collecting donations to give gifts to poor families at Christmas: Yep, HARAM!

4. He married her without the knowledge of his first wife, then his secret was found out, and he is still not giving her her rights with regard to his staying overnight with her. Ummm, why would you want to? I mean they say masturbation is a sin, but I’d take my chances. Better yet, go find your own husband, hooker.

5. Should one return salaams to a parrot?! Oh the future of my mortal soul hangs in the balance.

6. Why is the witness of one man considered to be equal to the witness of two women? This is of interest to me because the verse the questioner is referring to is one of the few that I have never been able to reconcile or knead away even with the most virulent apologia. So, the answer: “Scientific and specialized studies have shown that men’s minds are more perfect than those of women, and reality and experience bear witness to that.”  FAIL/FACEPALM/WTF. Somehow the next fatwa rings false.

7. She is asking about the rights of women in Islam. Answer:  Islam raised the status of women, and made them equal with men in most rulings. Yes, except the ones where she uses her brain like a man. Silly, silly woman.

8. Is it permissible for a Muslim woman living in a kaafir country to ride a bicycle or motorbike wearing full hijaab? Apparently, this was too difficult for the ordinary online muft, so he had to consult an upper sheik. The knowledgeable sheik’s verbatim response: “I  think that she should not, because it is possible for others to catch up with her or follow her.”  Actually, from what I hear, that’s much more likely in a Muslim country where men regularly grope and proposition strange women on the street.

9. Is it permissible to seek treatment with one who claims that he has dealings with a doctor from among the Muslim jinn?  Uh huh.

*And Last But Not Least*
 

 

10. Ruling on eating mermaids: “Many of the fuqaha’ mentioned mermaids and differed on the ruling concerning them. Some of them said that they are permissible (to eat) because of the general meaning of the evidence which says that whatever is in the sea is permissible. This is the view of the Shaafa’is and Hanbalis, and is the view of most of the Maalikis and of Ibn Hazm and others. And some of them regarded it as haraam because it is not a kind of fish. This is the view of the Hanafis and of al-Layth ibn Sa’d.” Mmm, tastes like chicken.
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33 Comments

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33 responses to “From the Old Blog: Funny (or depressing) Islam Q & A Fatwas

  1. Oh, I am 100% with you Steph. I got SOOO angry while reading this. I know of this site, and this "scholar" has no business giving fatwas. I guess I am a kaffir because I attending my aunt's funeral a few months ago. This is what he had to say about a funeral for a non-Muslim family member:"It is not permissible for a Muslim to attend the funeral of a non-Muslim even if it is a relative, because attending a funeral is a right that one Muslim has over another and it is a kind of showing respect, honour and friendship that it is not permissible to show to a kaafir"Who is this man, and how can he make fatwas? The bigger question is, who believes him???????

  2. o_O I don't know if I should laugh or cry at these so-called "fatwas", but a great many of my accquaintances love Islam Q and A and consider it to be a serious site…*coughs*I'm so sick to have people telling me this is haraam that is haraam blabla, these bearded idiots won't hopefully ever re-gain control of my life. I mean come on they even made a fatwa on NAILPOLISH?! I told my non-Muslim friends about it and they were asking me "Is there ANYTHING permissable in your religion AT ALL"?…

  3. I agree Sultana. Many of my Muslim friends go to this website when they need an answer on something. If non-Muslims were to see this site, they would really think bad of Islam. Why do so many Muslims, especially scholars, make Islam so hard? I am a convert, and my family was VERY poor when I was a child. My mom was a single mom, and she raised me and my brother, and many times, my mom would not have money for gifts for us for Christmas, and she would tell us, "Oh, Santa must have missed our house." I know how sad and heartbreaking that is, and if I can give a poor family gifts or money for food for Christmas, I WILL, because I KNOW what it was like not to have. It boggles my mind that people believe this web site.

  4. Face Palm is the correct phrase to be used here. Ugh it makes me so angry that people are making things so complicated. Just the questions you can find on there are ridiculous!

  5. wait, I'm confused. I thought mermaids were fictional creatures?! Am I missing something?

  6. It's not just this website. I live in a muslim country where there are number of prominent scholars giving similar fatwas and people here take them very seriously. And just as Stephanie said these scholar gave evidence to support their fatwas from Quran and hadith, so they are not really making it up.

  7. WHAT??! whaaaaat?! Mermaids? And I'm dying to know if I can say salaams to a parrot. Really? really?Sadly sometimes the illustrious scholars don't even quote from the authentic sources, but just other scholars. It's like a horrendously dangerous game of telephone where our souls and household pets are on the line. And I love it when the most obscure quranic verse is used to justify religious intolerance or misogyny: because God has perfected your religion, therefore everyone is kuffar, don't say hi to them, not even to parrots (unless you teach them how to recite Quran, then it's okay).

  8. This is the site that the "convert majority" mosque that I've been to promotes. There are a lot of young fresh Muslim brains that get convinced that these are the right answers no matter how ridiculous they are. There's nothing you can do for people like this, they take these words seriously and in some cases put these "sheiks" words over the Quran and hadiths…all you can really do is pray that inshAllah logic and reason sets in over the years.

  9. wow did someone really ask about a mermaid???

  10. I like what you said in your earlier posts on the seeming mishmash of sublime and absurd in all religions. I'm paraphrasing here: a thinking believer looks at the whole picture and finds the universal truth in it all. Sincere believers of all faiths could learn from you. Thanks for the clarity — and the chuckles.

  11. My husband is talking to my brother in law online and we are talking about your post. Regarding #5 he asks "should we return salams to people who say salam alaikum on tv? " BTW he says if someone found a mermaid they'd be stupid to eat it, it'd be worth millions. lol just having a little fun with this 🙂

  12. it is not the Fuqaha's fault that people ask silly questions. Im sure they (the sheikhs) cringe at some of the questions but neverthe less they have to answer them. They are trying their best to answer the questions as accurately as possible. You do not have to follow their opinion, there are other opinions.

  13. @Stephanie, I'm sorry if i violated any policy here . I didn't intend on lumping all muslims into anything as I myself am a muslim living in a muslim country and I hear and read similar fatwas like these all the time in local media. Let's not bury our heads in the sand here and admit that many muslims do take these fatwas seriously and if they wouldn't there would be no such fatwas in the first place. You said it yourself that these scholars use quran and hadith to justify their opinions. That means no matter how silly these opinions are there's a ground for it in Islam. Just like the man in Fatwa #2 that has to be re-examined and changed.

  14. Just want to clear out that by my previous comment I certainly don't mean the parrot and mermaid fatwas (these are absurd) but rather the status of women and the relationship with non-mulsims.

  15. just wondering why some are so reading and finding their own answers to these questions that they posts, are they really that ignorant? We have access to all the same resources that any self-proclaimed sheikh has. As long as your intentions are pure I can't really imagine that Allah will punish you for attempting to do the right thing (but then again that's the Allah I believe in, the merciful, compassionate one, not the one who will send you to hell for not bending your elbow the right way in prayer or eating with the wrong hand.

  16. Oh, and I, too, thought mermaids were fictional! Time to turn to Wiki al-Saheeh yet again for more knowledge.

  17. @ QrratuguaiQur'an and Sunnah go hand in hand just like La illaha illa Allah & Mohammad Al Rasool Allah. Muslims who live by the Sunnah cannot disregard the Qur'an; infact it is beyond the bounds of possibility to live by the Sunnah only because then you are not obeying Allah swt but obeying his creation. This is contrary to Tawheed (Monotheism). Muslims believe we should obey Allah swt and follow Prophet Muhammad sws. This is what is meant by Qur'an and sunnah. I don't know any Muslims who plea to follow the Sunnah but don't cite Qur'an. Islamqa always refer back to verses to the Qur'an as well as ahadith so I'm not sure where your stance comes from? Maybe there is a sect out there that I don't know about? and I never that Women are less intelligent than men, I am saying that women don't have intelligence alone, we also have emotions, feelings, fears etc. Men are very numb in emotions compared to women and this is why I believe they have a sharper vision when it comes to deriving Islamic rulings. I personally don't see any issue with a man being more knowledgeable than a woman. It only proves that men are given a bigger responsibility to govern affairs of worldly matters.

  18. Upps sorry Sarah, I have mispelled your name.I meant I agree with Sarah Bint Muhammad.

  19. Because these sites quote Qur'an and ahadith absolutely does not mean they are actually backing up what they say with Qur'an and ahadith. People can list numerous Qur'an and ahadith after questions/rules and that may on the surface seem very convincing. However, for it to actually "back up" their assertions, it assumes that they are applying those verses appropriately. Many see Qur'an and ahadith after what he writes and automatically think the opinion must be sound and based in Qur'an and ahadith. Not necessarily true. I've heard another Muslim say she chooses a ruling based on who has the most "proof" and she judges this by the length of the list of proof they are offering up – whether or not that list may or may not properly relate to the matter at hand doesn't even enter her mind.The "shaykh" who runs that site doesn't even bother to clearly state what he has studied and under whom he studied. The thin bios on this guy elsewhere lists teachers, although not what he studied under each. Many people, if they knew much about those teachers, would find them problematic. At a minimum, they don't represent the tradition of Islam or hold the traditional views on many things; they are byproducts of the Wahabbi movement. They may claim to be a return to the "true" Islam, but it sure is odd that Muslims for over a thousand years were collectively misguided and these dozen or so of recent "scholars" suddenly got things right.

  20. @umm zakayraWhile it would be wrong for the scholars to mock the questions, it would not be wrong for scholars to not answer those questions. If anything, that would be in keeping with the tradition of Islam. Imam Malik was known for refusing to answer many questions and rebuking questions he found inappropriate. The Prophet salallahu alaihi wa salam himself often indicated the inappropriateness of certain questions by the way he answered. Fatwa were never designed for questions like "Do mermaids exist". First off, this is not a legal issue and therefore not a question for a jurist. The person asking may have just as much knowledge on the subject as the one he is asking. One of our problems is that we have scholars nowadays will answer anything and who have turned fatwa into an "ask anything" type of thing, from Dear Abbey type questions to what they are actually supposed to be answering, and even then, there are times when it is best not to give an answer.

  21. 1st, pretty sure that Allah has a lot bigger and more important things to worry about than whether you took a bite out of a mermaid or not.2nd, a compassionate and merciful creator would surely not punish his creation for grieving the loss of a loved one, even if they are not Muslim, are we not commanded to respect our parents, even if they are not Muslims, as long as they don't ask us to denounce our faith?

  22. I always love reading the comments, and of course your blog, but the comments really do teach me a lot. @ Proud Muslima : I totally agree with everything you said! If you don't already have a blog, you should seriously consider making one. 😀

  23. Perfect example of how some Muslims totally get it wrong! No wonder some call Islam a cult.

  24. I cannot stop laughing about the mermaid question. Really? Who even thinks to ask something like that?

  25. thanks Anonymous for the compliment, I appreciate Stephanie allowing me to live a little vicariously through her blog, it's nice to know their are so many other like minded thinking Muslimas out there:)

  26. @ Anonymous Can you give me references about the way The Prophyt (SAWW) used to answer to indicate that some questions were inappropriate because I sincerly didn't know about this.JazakALLAH Khair.@the impolite Anonymous.You shouldn't be ashamed of yourself.I disagree with Stepahnie on almost everything but I (hope) express it in a civilised way and don't attack her on personal issues.If you think someone is misguided, Swearing at the person won't help to bring them back to the right path, and this is no islamic behavior at all.

  27. DD

    no words, no words………..i'm putting my faith in the ummah, hoping that most Muslims wouldn't take these kinds of fatwas seriously, hoping………and who said there aren't mermaids!! there could be some on Europa…

  28. I can't seem to get this issue out of my head, take a look at this list of top 10 most ridiculous/bizarre fatwas.http://listverse.com/2010/02/25/top-10-bizarre-or-ridiculous-fatwas/

  29. Pingback: muslim roundup « wood turtle

  30. I like the fun spirit of the commenters here. I did a post on funny fatwas once and got a lot of flak for mocking fellow brothers!

  31. Ayah

    I looooooooove Islam QA, just for the comedic value. But then again, I’m disturbed at the number of Muslims who take the load of manure on that site as absolute truth. Seriously, any “scholar” whose point of reference is ibn Baz (whose claim to fame was the fatwa proclaiming the earth is flat) should be on every Muslim’s pay-no-mind list.

  32. moehoweird

    most holy imam,i am confused my friends will not use the toilet facilities at my home due to its east/west orientation.i tried to explain that i am directionally dyslexic and was positive my toilet was not facing mecca. they laugh at me and when they visit for any length of time,they have to excuse themselves and run to Dennys across the street as the toilet there doesn’t face mecca.i have assured my muslim brothers that my toilet is,while not oriented according to the koran, i have a variety of scented sprays,to ward off those pesky toilet jinns that plaugue our toilets .i even moved the paper roll to the left side……what can i do?

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